We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
