Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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