I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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