I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
