is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
