Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
