Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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