why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
