youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
