if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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