I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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