I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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