you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
