All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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