you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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