You smell like stripper and shame
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
