He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
