Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
