so that wasnt chicken after all
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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