It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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