So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
