I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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