You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
