I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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