Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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