I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
