There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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