My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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