the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
