idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
