I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
