you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
