Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
