Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you win again, gameday.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
