im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
