I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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