oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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