I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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