It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
