If i come over, it means nothing
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
wow bdsm is so cute
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
