The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
