I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
