so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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