Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
