yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
