the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
