you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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