you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
