Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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