i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
