I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize