There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
