So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
