I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize