Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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