My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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