Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
