He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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