you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
