I just gift wrapped bread.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
How's work?
Spinning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize