The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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