i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
