it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
