well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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