You can't motorboat a personality
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
