Girls should come with a carfax report
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
