Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
