You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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