i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
