And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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