oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
