Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I will pee on everything he values.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
