You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
