He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
