Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize